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Come on, come on, everybody. Let's go! yayQuery, yayQuery, A whole lotta YAY and a Query too! Between the parens Are all of your friends and you. yayQuery, yayQuery, Shout it, "YAY!" like the queries do. So come on, let's go Cause we've got a show for you.
I tried to get you Oh I tried, but I got it wrong. So I wanna take you To a place where we belong. Where you got it easy And it all starts a dollar sign. And then you got it, you got it You dot it, you mod it You do anything you want it to do Cause it's all for, all for you. You've seen the signs. You've felt the beats. It's time to meet with jQuery. You've kissed the lips Of JavaScripts It's time to quip with jQuery.
On a browser you can't fake it. Would the things I didn't style break it? Now I gotta C.S.Situate it. Download Normalize! On a reset, starting over. But will it work in the browser older? Had better luck with a four-leaf clover. Download Normalize! We're the best, and there's no denyin', When the C.S.S starts flyin', And it works on every client. Download Normalize! Now my code is finally thinnin'. My deployment rims are spinnin'. And I grin 'cause I can't stop winnin'! Download Normalize! Takes a second, used to take a while. It's IE6 with the same Chrome style. And it comes in just one file! Download Normalize! We're the best, and there's no denyin', When the C.S.S starts flyin', And it works on every client - Download Normalize! It will solve all the planet's problems! It will heal even fatal wounds! Maybe not... but you still should use it! Download Normalize! We're the best, and there's no denyin', When the C.S.S starts flyin', And it works on every client! Download Normalize!
You paren when it starts. I know you got smarts. Zippin' up my bits, I'm a bandwidth shop. Can your browser store cache? Nah, you need mine, Cause I'm a download, hardware, motherboard running with ya AJAX. You're a wifi leecher. You script kiddy comeback! Fool, you need a teacher. I'm a preach. I'm a sit you down. So stop your GIT, shut your Fiddle, I'm a push you. Feel my rollback, sucker. Ya first line of code needs a Node Constructor. Your JS is shot if it's minified or not. What, you write this on pot? I'm a lint you! Watch me coding. They see me coding. I'm the latest. I'm the greatest. See? My trunk's running me. I'm the living standard for the WHATWG, They say "TML, SS". Know what that means? It's the "H" to the "C"! Gimme "5"! Gimme "3"! But my strength, my prowess, is "J". avaScript, I'm a script, I could Lint every day. "Callin' Papa Crockford, Callin' Papa Crockford" Sugar, please! YUI! Forget Reset and Normalize. Back to the JS. I do confess, before I start a project I check in with Irish Or Alman, Or maybe AJ will do, Or maybe Remy, R Murphey, Alex, All of them too be coding. Sullivan, Divya, gf3, Coldhead, nlogax, TabAtkins. Font Face! What the FOUT is when my page hit. Funny, Firefox, thought I left you for webkit. IE, Girl. What'cha doin' with a radiiant? What you say? Opera's got a linear gradient? Boom! See my sick Doctype! My boilerplate, baby, Yea, it's all right. And for speed localStorage that snip. Gigga? Please! Just a megabyte's all I need when I'm coding. Uhuh! Yea! They see me coding. Looks like Yoda wrote this line, Cause it's do or do not, and there aint no try. Yea, I'm a coding. Yea. Uhn. They see me codin. Uhuh. I got a plaque on my car. On the back it says "How is my coding?" Word. MSWord. Coders be coding. They see me coding. If ya wanna see me I'm on IRC and I'm coding. Argh! They see me coding. To Hixie, my brotha, I'm throwing an exception..al HTML5 gangsign for you. Coding.
They're Hiddenhancements. They're little tiny things you never thought you'd see.
Prepare a two-thousand experience, The latest we're offered and the best. You load up your browser it feels so quick, Cause finally everything is fixed In IE6. So much is better, so much is wrong, Loadin' transparent 8-bits all night long. No cluttering tabs or a bookmark bar, and for all your desires click the star In IE6. You can load up an ajax and asyncronize: (your applications till they finally break) (anything on the local domain) (your self) (everything you know) you can fix any layout issue with: (an asterix sign before CSS) (catch for javascript) (negative-margin overflow) (zoom) After so many HTTP hits the browser unexpectedly quits. What was the problem? I don't even know. Didn't have any javascript. Just some c.s.s h.t.m.l oh wait I know that breaks IE6. The best of IE6. It messed up IE6. The death of IE6.
The shackles of my own age are the battle from my home page. And so many foes, some new, some old, their differences enrage! A beast made of fire, a fox, they conspire; an army of angry chrome. A opera of sorts, and IE swords, and I was on my own. But now I know what to do, Thank the Modernizr. Features all mine to choose, Thank the Modernizr. And my eyes are opened wide with you leading my side. And so much to hash, but in a flash detections do confide. It's set to detect all that I have let, but its limits have no end. An arrow sharp to the browsers heart, and the beast is now my friend. And now we know what to do, Thank the Modernizr. Features all mine to choose, Thank the Modernizr. Frustration, that's what you lose, Thank the Modernizr. Perfection's waiting for you, Thank the Modernizr. And its easy to test what is true, Thank the Modernizr. And now you know just what to do, Thank the Modernizr.
It's the yayQuery beginner's corner. Where everything is new! It's the yayQuery beginner's corner. I'm a newbie, what are you?
It's the plugin of the week, and it's really, really great. It's the plugin of the week. It's the plugin of the week, and it's really, really great. It's the plugin of the week. WAAAAAAAAA!
So you think you wrote a program, but you don't even know. And you thought you made a GIT of it, but where did it go? Were you in a CSSiesta when you wrote the last line? Did you tweet, or are you sure if it is even online? Oh you're staying up to late But you've got to stay awake Writing a program. And you swear you got the idea when the Woot Off began. Like a red eye, but you had to, so you made it a plan. And you'd know glory if another person saw what you've made. Cause it's the greatest thing you've written and you'll never get paid. Oh you're staying up to late But you've got to stay awake Writing a program. Are these visions of the future, or a well beaten path? Are these binary museries the kind that will last? Can a thing you're writing really make the world a bit more? Though we know you love attention, it's not all that it's for. Oh you're staying up to late But you've got to stay awake Writing a program.
Paul Irish's jQuery Anti-Pattern for Performance of the Week.
Have you ever dreamed the sight Of being made of light? Sparkling mane of white Oh what's your dream tonight? You dreamed you're a unicorn. You dreamed you're a unicorn, unicorn! Right now you're a unicorn. You dreamed you're a unicorn, unicorn! Soft and noble hair Flying through the air. Tail of lion's pride and you can take a ride! And all at once you float By your beard of billy goat. You're prancing, cloven hooves And you're making rainbows move! (You're a Unicorn!) You dreamed you're a unicorn (a unicorn?). You dreamed you're a unicorn, unicorn! (Yea) Right now you're a unicorn (and you'll never get old). You dreamed you're a unicorn, unicorn Right now you're a unicorn (and your heart is gold). You dreamed you're a unicorn, unicorn. And you'll walk along the moon Making geeks and maidens swoon! Awesome mighty ultra steed Beast of love we'll always need! You've got flowers in your hair You're like purple that a man can wear! And you're splendor Bursting bubbles Sparkles happy And you're loving! You're a Unicorn.
You're a hacker but you're in my dreams You gotta take your risk changes everything You're a hacker on a twenty eight eight Gotta PCI and a refresh rate. So you hacker you're not on your own We can hack the planet from a spinning phone Hacker Hacker triple RAM-ify And I tera-tore down singing giga-bye-bye hacker Bye bye hacker.
Script boy and his script girl; They write with dollar signs, And they read between the lines. Oh script girl, she'll always love her boy; Setting him free, they'll be as one, Once a compile, now a run. Smitten with loads and lines of love - Written in script from up above. Script boy find your script girl; She's reality, But you can meet on IRC. Oh script girl, you've got to find your boy; For every girl deserves a knight, Shining in blue florescent light. Smitten with loads and lines of love - Written in script from up above. Oh my eyes they can't deceive, Separate partitions interweaved; And he'll know that she's for him, Truer than true in Boolean. Script boy and his script girl; Off to a wife, a lucky guy, Two beating hearts and one wifi. Smitten with loads and lines of love - Written in script from up above.
yayQuery, yayQuery We're sorry to tell you it's time to go. We hope you had fun Cause now we are done with our show. yayQuery, yayQuery One more time, "YAY" till we meet again. So long from our Node. It's back to our code till then.